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上海高考滿分作文精選5篇:我想握住你的手

2016-06-01

  我要奉獻我自己,為了祖國美好的未來辛勤地勞動。

I want to dedicate myself to work hard for the future of the motherland.下面是小編整理的我想握住你的手作文,希望可以幫助大家!
?

  【范文】

[Fan Text]

  我想握住你的手

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

  在這世上,縱觀古今中外,我有太多想握住的手。但在我內心深處,我最想握得還是全國勞?!旎⒌氖?。

In this world, looking at the ancient and modern Chinese and foreign, I have too many hands I want to hold.But deep in my heart, I want to hold the national model -Xu Hu's hand most.

  也許你會奇怪,為什么我會最想握住他的手?讓我來告訴你,因為他讓我懂得了一個深刻的道理:人生在世,我們不能碌碌無為,我們應該憑著自己的雙手去辛勤的勞動,用我們自己的力量去開創美好未來。

Maybe you are weird, why do I want to hold his hand the most? Let me tell you, because he let me know a deep truth: Life is alive, we can't do nothing, we should go hard with our own hands to work hard.Labor uses our own strength to create a better future.

  是啊,勞動!這個自盤古開天以來就有的名詞,維系著一代又一代人的命運,讓我們從落后走向先進,從彎曲走向直挺,從無知愚昧走向了聰明睿智。

Yeah, labor! This noun since the ancient Kaitian has maintained the fate of generations, let us move from backward to advanced, from bending to straight, from ignorance and ignorance to clever and wise.

  然而,隨著當今社會的不斷發展進步,有越來越多的人開始貶低勞動的價值。他們靠著自己的小聰明去投機取巧,偶爾在股市中賺取了一點小利就自以為是,認為不靠辛勤的勞動,同樣也能賺到大筆金錢。社會上甚至傳出了“笑貧不笑娼”的言論,這真是謬天下之大論??删褪怯腥艘源藶闇?,干出了一些傷風敗俗的行為,讓社會風氣變得不斷敗壞。

However, with the continuous development of today's society, more and more people have begun to degrade the value of labor.They relying on their little cleverness to speculate, and occasionally earning a little profit in the stock market, they thought that they could also earn a lot of money without relying on hard work.There is even a statement of "laughing the poverty and not laughing" in the society.But some people are subject to this, and they have done some wind -free behaviors, making the society's atmosphere constantly corrupt.

  好在,在這個時候,一個叫徐虎的人出現了。他是一個普普通通的水管維修工人,其實并不起眼。然而,他所作出的工作成就讓人刮目相看。徐虎,十幾個年頭在他的工作崗位上兢兢業業的工作著,靠著自己的雙手的辛勤勞動去養活家人。他不嫌工作又臟又惡心,為人民日夜奔走。那響亮的名字和“辛苦我一人,方便千萬家”一直銘記在我心中。就這樣,他的努力得到回報,他被評為全國勞動模范。但他并不以此為傲。他所關心的,引以為傲的仍然是客戶們由衷的贊揚。

Fortunately, at this time, a man named Xu Hu appeared.He is an ordinary water pipe maintenance worker, but he is actually inconspicuous.However, his work achievements are impressive.Xu Hu, who worked hard in his job for more than a dozen years, relying on his own hard work to support his family.He didn't think he was dirty and disgusting, and ran for the people day and night.The loud name and "hard work, convenient for millions of homes" have always been remembered in my heart.In this way, his efforts were rewarded, and he was rated as a national model of labor.But he is not proud of this.What he cares about is still the heart of the client sincerely praise.

  我,一個普通的學子,在看到你的事跡后,發自內心的敬重你。不為了別的,就為了你讓我懂得了今后人生所要做的。

I, an ordinary student, respects you from the heart after seeing your deeds.No matter what else, just for you to let me know what life is going to do in the future.

  你知道嗎?我想要握住你的手,再累的活,我相信只要肯干,就一定能干好。只要為了人民群眾和祖國的需要,我一定第一個站起來。勞動最光榮,我要靠我自己的力量,去開創美好的未來。

Do you know? I want to hold your hand and work again. I believe that as long as you do it, you will be able to do well.As long as the needs of the people and the motherland, I must stand up for the first time.Labor is the most glorious. I have to rely on my own strength to create a better future.

  耳邊傳來胡錦濤總書記的話語:“我們尊重一切為人民的勞動,我們尊重一切為社會主義現代化建設的勞動!”

The words of General Secretary Hu Jintao came from the ear: "We respect all the labor of the people, and we respect all labor for socialist modernization!"

  我要奉獻我自己,為了祖國美好的未來辛勤地勞動。

I want to dedicate myself to work hard for the future of the motherland.

  【名師點評】這是一篇優秀的考場作文。其值得借鑒之處如下:

[Famous Teacher Comments] This is an excellent test room composition.It is worthy of reference as follows:

  一、選材新穎,富有時代感。 這篇文章最大的亮點在于它具有鮮明的時代意義。文章用上海眾人皆知的勞模徐虎作文行文的材料,選材新穎。

First, the selection of materials is novel and full of sense of the times.The biggest highlight of this article is its distinctive meaning.The article uses the material of the composition of Xu Hu composition, which is well known to everyone in Shanghai, and has a novel material selection.

  二、觀點鮮明,富有感召力。行文開頭便亮出了自己光榮的勞動觀“我們應該憑著自己的雙手去辛勤的勞動,用我們自己的力量去開創美好未來”,接著作者針砭時弊,從反面批判諷刺以勞動為恥的人,然后從正面贊頌自己想與之握手的人物徐虎,表達自己的敬重之情,在敬重中肯定“勞動最光榮”的正確價值觀,并引用胡錦濤總書記的話語向社會發出警示,體現出時代的號召力。

Second, the point of view is clear and appeal.At the beginning of the text, we showed our own glorious view of labor, "We should go to hard work with our own hands and use our own strength to create a better future."Then praise Xu Hu from the front praise to the person who wants to shake hands with him, express his respect, affirm the correct values of "the most glorious labor" in respect, and quote the words of General Secretary Hu Jintao to the society, which reflects the timesThe appeal.

  我想握住你的手

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

  動聽的旋律,五彩的音符,對!那就是音樂。從小在音樂的環境中長大,享受著父母無微不至的關愛的同時,我更享受著音樂給我帶來美妙和幻想。我一直想握住音樂的手,一直,甚至是一種渴望和迫切想握住你的手,然而卻總有那一段不知寬窄的距離。

Listening melody, colorful notes, yes! That's music.When I grew up in a music environment, I enjoyed my parents' meticulous care, and I enjoyed the wonderful and fantasy of music.I have always wanted to hold the hand of music, and I have always been a desire and urgent to hold your hand, but there is always a distance that I don't know width.

  當別的孩子還在聽著“外婆橋”的時候,我的身邊已經縈繞著門德爾松《乘著歌聲的翅膀》,當別人開始學唱周杰倫的《雙截棍》時,我的身邊卻有著維爾第的《四季》……對于此,難道我還沒有握住你的手嗎?是的,沒有。雖然你離我是那么的近,甚至唾手可得,但我卻覺得,你的內容是那么的深邃,你有幾百年的文明,可待我去追隨!

When other children are still listening to the "Grandma Bridge", my side has lingered with Mendelson's "Wings of Singing". When others start learning to sing Jay Chou's "Two -Casual Stick", but my sideWith Verdi's "Four Seasons" ... Haven't you held your hand yet? Yes, no.Although you are so close to me or even at your fingertips, I feel that your content is so deep. You have hundreds of years of civilization, but you can follow me to follow!

  步入童年,我開始了我的琴童生涯,每一天我都在你的懷抱下漸漸長大,原以為這樣我握住了你的手,已經完全走進了你的世界,但是,我錯了!和你在一起的時間愈長,卻愈使我感到自己的無知。

When I stepped into my childhood, I started my career in the piano boy. Every day I grew up under your arms. I thought that I held your hand in this way and had completely entered your world, but I was wrong.It's the longer you, the longer you, the more I feel my ignorance.

  在我賞閱了許多的音樂作品后,在我欣賞了海頓的《時鐘》的嚴謹,貝多芬的《命運》的澎湃,莫扎特的《小步舞曲》的輕悠與閑適后,我震撼了,我感覺到一種從未有過的充實,是肉體上的,精神上卻仍有那一絲的欲望,幻想和看不見的距離。

After I rewarded a lot of music works, I admired the rigor of Haydn's "Clock", Beethoven's "Destiny", Mozart's "Small Step Dance" was shocked after the lightness and leisure of Mozart's "Small Step Dance", and I was shocked.I feel a kind of fulfillment that has never been, but it is physical, but there is still that trace of desire, fantasy and invisible distance.

  我一次又一次地品嘗你的韻味,十幾年,幾乎每一張CD都聽過不下十遍,每一次都迫切地伸手想要握住你的手,但每一次卻總有喜悅中的遺憾。這樣 的場景在幻想中就猶如宙斯想要抓住上帝的手,卻被那一道鴻溝隔開,可望而不可即?;蛟S,音樂,你就有這樣的一種魅力,讓我充滿幻想,讓我不斷企求,讓我大步前進去追尋。

I tasted your charm again and again. For more than ten years, almost every CD has not heard it ten times. Every time I eagerly reached out to hold your hand, but every time there is always regrets in joy in joy.EssenceSuch a scene is like Zeus wants to grab God's hand in the fantasy, but it is separated by that gap, which is expected to be incompetent.Perhaps, music, you have such a charm that makes me full of fantasies, let me continue to ask for, let me go in and pursue.

  在我十五歲那年,參加了帕爾曼的大師班。這位大師并不如我想象的一般:風度翩翩,矯健的步伐,靈活的舞臺表現力,卻是從小患了小兒麻痹癥而導 致了雙腿殘疾,下肢癱瘓。這不禁出乎我的意料,然而,當他撐起手中的弓,靈活的手指跳動起來時,我發現音樂在他的演繹下有著別樣的風情和感覺。我熟悉的音 樂更具生命力和無限的張力了。此時,我明白了,音樂是需要心的演繹,不只是技巧與音符的堆砌,而是生命的華彩,人生的篇章。

At the age of fifteen, I participated in Parman's master class.This master is not as good as I think: Pleading, healthy steps, and flexible stage expression, but from childhood, he suffered from pediatric paralysis and caused his legs to disability and paralysis of the lower limbs.This can't help but unexpected. However, when he supported the bow in his hand and the flexible fingers beating, I found that the music had a different style and feeling under his interpretation.My familiar music has more vitality and infinite tension.At this time, I understand that music is the interpretation of the heart, not just the stacking of skills and notes, but the Chinese color of life, the chapter of life.

  我愛音樂,我想握住你的手,或許,我現在握不到,將來也握不到,但是你的奇幻和異彩就在于不斷地追求和體味,這也就是中外音樂家都用一生去追隨你的原因吧。

I love music, I want to hold your hand, maybe, I ca n’t hold it now, and I ca n’t hold it in the future, but your fantasy and strange color lies in the continuous pursuit and appreciation.Follow your reasons.

  去夢想,去尋覓,去征程。

Go to dream, look for, go to journey.

  只為了想握住你的手。

Just to hold your hand.

  【名師點評】

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

  本文最大的優點就在于以下幾個方面:

The biggest advantage of this article is the following aspects:

  一、感情真實。生活是創作的源頭活水,作者將真實的生活化作無聲的泉眼,在不經意間噴涌出來的是作者內心的真摯感情。文章中對“我”想握住音樂的手的描述,對“我”的內心世界的展示,都是那么自然真實。文貴于真,寫真實的事件,寫真實的感受,就能真正打動讀者的心靈。

First, the feelings are true.Life is the source of the source of creation. The author turns the real life into a silent spring eye. What he inadvertently sprays the sincere feelings of the author's heart.In the article, the description of "I" wants to hold music, and the display of the inner world of "I" is so natural and real.Wen Gui is true, taking true events, and the true feelings can truly impress the reader's heart.

  二、主題鮮明。文章雖然用了不少筆墨寫“我”與音樂交流、溝通、感悟的遺憾——很難握住音樂的手,但更寫了“我”心理轉化歷程,最終“我”還是會“不斷企求,讓我大步前進去追尋”,“去夢想,去尋覓,去征程”。 突出了生活的主旋律,字里行間傳達出一種昂揚奮進的精神。主題十分鮮明。

Second, the theme is clear.Although the article uses a lot of pens and ink to write "I" to communicate, communicate, and feel the regret of music -it is difficult to hold the hand of the music, but it also wrote the "I" psychological conversion process. In the end, ""I will still" constantly ask for the corporate, let me step forward to pursue "," go to dream, look for, go to journey ".Highlighting the main theme of life, conveying a spirit of endurance between the lines.The theme is very clear.

  三、語言活潑。文章的語言富有個性,用語生動形象,句式靈活多變,不僅符合中學生的身份,而且使文章的語言搖曳多姿

Third, the language is lively.The language of the article is full of personality, the term is vivid, and the sentence pattern is flexible. It not only conforms to the identity of middle school students, but also sways the language of the article.

  我想握住你的手

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

  在2005年感動中國十大人物中,最令我感動的,莫過于青年大學生洪戰輝。我想握住你的手,感受你堅強的靈魂,感受你平凡卻又偉大的人格。

Among the top ten people in China in 2005, the most moved by me was Hong Zhanhui, a youth college student.I want to hold your hand, feel your strong soul, and feel your ordinary but great personality.

  我想握住你的手,一雙不曾向命運屈服的手,在你還是一個滿臉稚氣的孩子的時候,命運卻讓他走出仁慈母愛的溫暖家庭,一個稚氣的孩子卻要承擔起整個家庭的生活重擔,可你沒有泄氣,咬緊牙關,微笑面對,用稚嫩的雙手撐起支離破碎的家庭,在同齡人還在父母懷中嬉笑時,男子漢的氣節已在你心間發芽。

I want to hold your hand, a pair of hands who never yielded fate. When you are still a childish child, fate lets him get out of the warm family of kind motherly love, but a childish child must take on the entire family.The burden of life, but you have no discouraged, grit your teeth, face with a smile, and support the fragmented family with your tender hands. When your peers are still laughing in your parents' arms, the man's festival has germinated in your heart.

  我想握住你的手,一雙有著高尚的責任心的手,一個孩子在萬般苦難之下卻要承擔起一個與自己并無血緣的妹妹的生活,你本可以將她交于政府孤兒院,但“哥哥”這個詞在你心中似乎占據了全新的位置,你斷然將妹妹留在自己身邊,數十載如一日,無論酷暑寒冬,還是風吹雨打,始終不放棄。一個孩子用他的行動告訴世人,親情是最珍貴的,做人應當具有責任心。

I want to hold your hand, a pair of hands with noble responsibility, a child has to take on a life of a sister who has no blood with you under the suffering.But the word "brother" seems to occupy a brand new position in your heart. You have left your sister with your sisters for decades like a day. Whether it is cool and cold, or wind and rain, you will never give up.A child tells the world with his actions that affection is the most precious, and being a person should be responsible.

  我想握住你的手,一雙勤奮學習的手,“千磨萬擊還堅韌,任爾東西南北風”,無論條件多么簡陋,你始終沒有提出“輟學”這兩個字,生活中的驚濤駭浪不能讓你低頭,同樣學習中的困難亦不能動搖你勤奮學習的決心,數十年來,你總是忙里偷閑,一有時間就拿出書本翻閱,一個勤奮的學子以他的行動告訴天下的讀書人,書山有路勤為徑,學海無涯苦作舟。

I want to hold your hand, a pair of diligent learning hands, "thousands of milling and tough, Ren Er, east, south, south, and wind. No matter how simple the conditions, you have never proposed the word" drop out of school ".You can't let you bow your head, and the difficulties in the same study can not shake your determination to study hard. For decades, you have always been busy. When you have time, you can read the book and read it. A diligent student tells the readers of the world with his actions.Shu Shan has Lu Qin as a trail, and Xuehai has no end to be a boat.

  我想握住你的手,一雙樂于助人,充滿愛心的手,正如只有剛走出沙漠的人才能體驗到水的甘甜一樣,你珍惜自己的每一分收獲,讓與自己有著同樣命運的人擺脫貧窮的困擾,減輕貧窮對孩子的折磨,讓她們安心地在教室中享受讀書的樂趣。

I want to hold your hand, a pair of helpful and loving hands, just as those who have just stepped out of the desert can experience the sweetness of the water.The trouble of poverty reduces the torture of poverty to children, and allows them to enjoy reading in the classroom with peace of mind.

  我自橫刀向天笑,去留肝膽兩昆侖。雖然你沒有書寫波瀾壯闊的人生篇章,但你偉大的人格和對生命的珍愛,同命運作殊死搏斗的精神感動了整個中國,整個世界。

I laughed at the sky from the horizontal knife and kept the liver and gallbladder.Although you do not write a magnificent chapter of life, your great personality and cherish life of life have moved the whole world with the spirit of fate, the whole world.

  我想握住你的手,感受你平凡又不平凡的靈魂,我們應以你為榜樣,笑傲一切苦難與挫折,樂觀豁達,永不言棄,自強自立。

I want to hold your hand and feel your ordinary and extraordinary soul. We should take you as an example, laugh all suffering and setbacks, optimistic and open -minded, never abandon, self -reliance and self -reliance.

  【名師點評】

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

  把眾人所熟悉的感動中國的人物寫進作文,是今年作文的一大現象。但寫得真切、深刻的,可謂鳳毛麟角。一般考場作文講究“新”中出“彩”,選材追求“人無我有”之獨特,而本文作者卻不視這一禁忌,做到了“平”中見“奇”,不得不為其把握材料的能力擊節稱好。

Writing the characters familiar to everyone into the composition is a phenomenon of this year's composition.But what is written so deeply is rare.Generally, the composition of the test room pays attention to "new" in "new", and the selection of materials pursue the uniqueness of "people have no self", but the author of this article does not look at this taboo, and can see "Qi" in "Ping".The ability to fight for materials is good.

  一奇在情感真摯,思想深邃。抒寫自己想握住洪戰輝的手,感受他堅強、高尚、勤奮、樂于助人的平凡又不平凡的靈魂,感悟全面,且與他產生了心靈的共鳴,感染力強。

One Qi is sincere and deep in thought.Expressing his hands to hold Hong Zhanhui, feel his ordinary, noble, diligent, and helpful soul, comprehensively perceive, and have a strong resonance with him.

  二奇在文筆老練,不同凡響。敘述洪戰輝的自強自立經歷時,高度概括,字字鏗鏘;抒發對洪戰輝的贊美與崇敬時,含蓄蘊藉,真切感人。

Erqi is sophisticated in writing.When describing Hong Zhanhui's self -reliance experience, he was highly summarized and the words were stunned; when he expressed his praise and respect for Hong Zhanhui, he borrowed it and was really touching.

  三奇在結構嚴謹,脈絡清晰。主體部分并列展開,首尾呼應,升華文章主旨。

Three Qi is rigorous in structure and clear context.The main part of the main body is juxtaposed, echoed at the end, and the main purpose of sublimation article.

  我想握住你的手

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

  每當徜徉在歷史的長河之中,千百年的英雄人物仿佛一根細繩牽引著我的心在歲月中晃悠。我多么期盼能與他們成為一夜芳鄰!多么渴望能握住他們的手與其促膝長談!

Whenever I am in the long river of history, the heroes of thousands of years seem to be led by a thin rope to my heart.How much I look forward to being a neighbor with them one night! How eager to hold their hands and talk about their knees!

  李太白,我想握住你的手!當品讀完《行路難》和《夢游天姥吟留別》時,我為你的思想破碎傷痛著,“欲渡黃河冰塞川,將登太行雪滿山”的抑郁悲苦與“安能摧眉折腰事權貴,使我不得開心顏”的灑脫不羈,你是怎樣擺正天平的呢?是那顆不畏權貴敢讓高力士脫靴的直率的心,還有那壺清酒,“舉杯邀明月,對影成三人”,孤獨卻又幸福著。你的雙手給予了我力量-------樂觀灑脫。你教會了我化苦藥為甘霖,不論是非榮譽,“微笑著,去唱生活的歌謠”!

Li Tai Bai, I want to hold your hand! When the Pin finished reading "Difficulty in the Walk" and "Dreaming of the Dreams of the Dreams", I was hurting and hurting your thoughts.The depression and sorrow of Man Mountain "and the unrestrained and unruly of" An Neng destroyed the eyebrows and the rights, so that I can't be happy ". How do you set up the balance? It is the straightforwardness of the power that does not dare to let Gauli take off the boots.Heart, and the pot of clear wine, "Toast invites Mingyue, to the three people", lonely but happy.Your hands gave me strength-optimistic and easy.You taught me to turn bitter medicine as Gan Lin, whether right and wrong, "Smile, sing the song of life"!

  諸葛孔明,我想握住你的手!“三顧頻煩天下計,兩朝開濟老臣心”,是你一生忙碌的昭示,你有感恩之心。劉備三顧草廬,委自枉屈,你為了報恩竭忠盡智,鞠躬盡瘁,事無巨細,一概任之。你有高度的責任感。劉備命喪白帝城,你盡心地扶起那樂不思蜀的劉阿斗,你有高度的嚴父心?!胺堑o以明志,非寧靜無以致遠”便是你對兒子們為人處世的要求。你的雙手傳遞了感恩的忠耿,責任的沉重。我頓然領悟到:假如恩人是一座莊嚴的城堡,我要做堅實的脊梁柱;假如恩人是一根深茂的大樹,我要做堅固的根深扎入土;假如恩人是一只猛健的飛鷹,我要做有力的翅膀。

Zhuge Kongming, I want to hold your hand! "Three times are bothering the world, and the old ministers of the two dynasties are the hearts of your life."Liu Bei Sangui Cao Lu, who is self -proclaimed, and you are faithful in order to reward the depletion and do everything.You have a high sense of responsibility.Liu Daiwanmian Bai Emperor City, you do your best to support Liu Abou, who is not thinking about Shu, you have a high degree of strict father's heart."It is not weak, and there is no peace." It is your requirement for your sons to be a life.Your hands pass on the loyalty of gratitude and the heavy responsibility.I suddenly realized: If the benefactor is a solemn castle, I want to be a solid spine; if the benefactor is a deep tree, I want to make a solid root deep into the soil; if the benefactor is a fierce flying eagle, I want to make powerful wings.

  越王勾踐,我想握住你的手!你大敗于會稽之戰,仍能忍辱就功名,你面對失敗,臥薪嘗膽,甘愿做夫差的奴仆,是多么令人欽佩的忍辱負重啊!功夫不負有心人,終于光復故國,大敗夫差。你挫敗后堅毅的人格將你銘刻在歷史的史冊,熠熠生輝,流芳百世,你如一盞明燈,指引我通往成功的道路必將充滿險阻,迂回曲折。如果大海失去了巨浪的翻滾,必將隱沒他的雄渾;如果沙漠失去了漫天飛舞的狂沙,必將掩蓋他的壯觀。失敗是成功之母的真理將慰藉在黑暗中趕路的人。

Yue Wang Gou Jian, I want to hold your hand! You lose the battle of Huiji, you can still endure the name of humiliation, you faced the failure, the slaves who are willing to be a husband and a husband is the admirable tolerance.In the heart, he finally resumed his home country and defeated his husband.After your frustration, the resolute personality engraved you in the history of history, shining, Liu Fangbai Shi, you are like a beacon, guiding the road to success will be full of danger and roundabout.If the sea loses the rolling of the huge waves, it will be hidden in his majesty; if the desert loses the mad sand of the sky, it will hide his spectacular.Failure is the truth of the mother of success.

  我是如此沉浸于歷史的經典,常常能與那些“其身雖已沒,千載有余情”的英雄人物指點江山,討論人生。

I am so immersed in the classics of history, and I can often point out the heroes with the heroes who "have no body and have a thousand years" and discuss life.

  那些留在歷史長河的英雄,你們就是“高山流水”,將深邃的人生旅途飄拂過內心的靈魂:永遠是那么清晰嘹亮。我愿常常握住你們的手,成為人生中無形的導師指引我前進!

Those heroes who stay in the history of history, you are "high mountains and rivers", drifting a deep journey of life through the inner soul: it is always so clear and bright.I would like to hold your hand often and become an invisible mentor in life to guide me to move forward!

  【名師點評】

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

[Review of Famous Teachers]

  這是一篇情理并茂,感悟深刻的考場優秀散文。其突出特點如下:

This is an excellent prose in the examination room.Its outstanding characteristics are as follows:

  一、結構謹嚴,脈絡清晰。作者深諳考場作文之道,采用以總分總的形式行文,開頭總說“我多么期盼能與他們成為一夜芳鄰!多么渴望能握住他們的手與其促膝長談”。中間分說了對三個典型人物李白、諸葛亮、勾踐的渴望,結尾“我愿常常握住你們的手,成為人生中無形的導師指引我前進!”呼應開頭,使得行文思維嚴謹,脈絡清晰。

First, the structure is rigorous and the veins are clear.The author knows the composition of the examination room and uses the form of a total score. At the beginning, he always said, "How look forward to being a neighbor with them one night! How long is to hold their hands and talk about their knees."In the middle, the desire for the three typical characters Li Bai, Zhuge Liang, and Gou Jian. At the end, "I would like to hold your hand often and become an invisible mentor in life to guide me to move forward!" Echo the beginning, making Xingxi rigorous and clear context.

  二、選材典型,主題鮮明。主體部分選取想千百年的英雄人物中的三個典型人物李白、諸葛亮、勾踐,在抒發想與他們握手的過程中,去感受他們的手的力量,李白樂觀灑脫的手,諸葛亮忠耿感恩的手,勾踐的忍辱負重的手,在感悟中思考人生,領悟人生,寄托自己對英雄人物的贊美與崇拜,折射出一種積極的人生態度。主題鮮明突出。

Second, the selection of materials is typical, and the theme is clear.The main part selected three typical characters Li Bai, Zhuge Liang, and Gou Jian in the heroes who wanted to think about thousands of years. In the process of expressing their hands to shake hands with them, they felt their strength.Hands, Gou Jian's humiliated hand, thinking about life, understanding life, and entrusting their praise and worship of heroes, reflecting a positive attitude towards life.The theme is clear.

  三、語言生動,彰顯文采。全文語言生動形象,詩文的引用使文章富有文化底蘊。特別是大量的比喻的運用,如“假如恩人是一座莊嚴的城堡,我要做堅實的脊梁柱;假如恩人是一根深茂的大樹,我要做堅固的根深扎入土;假如恩人是一只猛健的飛鷹,我要做有力的翅膀”,增強了文章的氣勢與感染力。

Third, the language is vivid, showing the literary talent.The full text is vivid and vivid, and the quotation of poetry makes the article full of cultural heritage.Especially the use of a large number of metaphors, such as "if the benefactor is a solemn castle, I want to be a solid spine; if the benefactor is a deep tree, I want to make a solid root deep into the soil;Mengjian's Flying Eagle, I want to make powerful wings, "which enhanced the momentum and appeal of the article.

  我想握住你的手

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

  兒時爸爸就將你介紹給我。從此,你就如有閃耀金邊的太陽,撫慰我的心靈,你就如山間流下的一泓清泉,滋潤著我的思想,你就如燥熱夏天的一陣涼風,吹去我的塵埃。我從對你的凝望,到如今想握住你的雙手。

As a child, my dad introduced you to me.From then on, if you have a shining sun to soothe my soul, you are like a clear spring flowing down in the mountains, moisturizing my thoughts, and you are like a cool breeze in the hot summer, blowing off my dust.From the stare of you, I want to hold your hands now.

  我真想握住你的手,這是美麗的手,優美的手,藝術的手。

I really want to hold your hand, this is a beautiful hand, beautiful hand, artistic hand.

  是你讓我明白,美不只是存在于畫中,音樂中。你也可以展現出美,文學的美,它體現在作者妙筆生花的詞藻之美,它體現在“孤舟蓑蒞翁,獨釣寒江雪”的意境之美,它體現在“悠然見南山”的思想之美,我多想抓住這些手,不讓它們遺失在時間的長河中,我多想抓住它們,讓我的人生也充滿了美。

You let me understand that beauty is not just in painting, music.You can also show the beauty of beauty, literature , which is reflected in the beauty of the author's wonderful brushes, it is reflected in the beauty of the artistic conception of "lonely boat, fishing alone in Hanjiang Xue", it reflects it reflects it reflectsIn the beauty of "seeing Nanshan", I want to catch these hands to prevent them from being lost in the long river of time. I want to catch them more and make my life full of beauty.

  我多想握住你的手,這是感恩的手,機智的手,睿智的手。

I want to hold your hand more, this is gratitude hand, witty hand, wise hand.

  我從這許許多多的書本中,看到了你-----文學,從你身體中散發出來的思想的氣息,他們是那么明顯卻又飄忽,只有當我真正投入,被你所深深吸引時,我才能有一點點的體會,我似乎在與智者談話,是他告訴我許多不了解的事。魯迅告訴了我阿Q的可笑,當時社會的黑暗。巴金告訴我真理是世間最珍貴的東西,你所做的事要對得起自己。歐?亨利告訴我人間自有真情在,人性的美麗會感動一切——在與古今中外一位又一位偉人的談話中,我感受到了思想的力量,所以我要抓住你的手,讓我的思想更上一層樓。

From many of these books, I saw you-literature, the atmosphere of thought exuding from your body, they were so obvious but erratic.When I was attracted, I could have a little Experience . I seemed to be talking to the wise man. It was him who told me many things that I didn't know.Lu Xun told me that Ah Q was ridiculous that the darkness of the society at that time.Ba Jin told me that truth is the most precious thing in the world, and what you do should be worthy of yourself.Os Henry told me that there is true feelings in the world, and the beauty of human nature will move everything -in a conversation with ancient and modern Chinese and foreign people, I feel the power of thought, so I want to grasp your hand and let let itMy thoughts went to the next level.

  我多想抓住你的手,這是感悟的手,意境的手,境界的手。

I want to grab your hand, this is the hand of perception, the hand of artistic conception, the hand of the realm.

  我從“賢哉回也”“在陋巷”的安貧樂道,學習到了圣人的感悟和君子的處世之道,我從“安能摧眉折腰事權貴”中學到了不向權貴低頭,從“先天下之憂而憂,后天下之樂而樂”中學到了“天下興亡,匹夫有責”的品格,是你教會了我不同的人生境界,讓我在更高的人生舞臺中,展現自身的色彩,所以我要抓住你的手,讓你引領我走向更廣闊的天地。

I learned from the poverty of the poverty of "Xianyu Huiye" and "in the bad alley".Worrying and worrying, the adults of the world "to the" rise and fall of the world, the husband's responsibility ", you have taught me a different life realm, let me show my own color in a higher stage of life, so soI want to grab your hand and let you lead me to a wider world.

  在我的人生中,是你帶領我走過沼澤,翻過高山,不懼困難,永往直前,你用你的手保護了我,扶起了我,讓我的前路能夠平坦,寬闊;你就像一位長者,一位朋友,當我最需要你的時候。

In my life, you lead me to walk through the swamp, turn over the mountains, and don't be afraid of difficulties. Go forward forever. You use your hand to protect me and help me, so that my way can be flat and wide;You are like an elder, a friend, when I need you most.

  現在我更想靠近你,聽你的心聲,不要再尾隨于你,我要走上前握住你的手,與你并肩前行,讓文學能一生伴我左右。

Now I want to get closer to you, listen to your voices, and don't follow you anymore. I want to step forward and hold your hand, walk alongside you, so that literature can accompany me for a lifetime.

  【名師點評】本文是一篇難得的考場佳作,其優點如下:

[Famous Teacher Comments] This article is a rare masterpiece of the examination room, and its advantages are as follows:

  一、 結構清晰,情感真切。本文選擇的握手的對象“文學”是虛化的、抽象的,但作者結合自己的切身體驗與感受,把這無形的“手”寫活了,“這是美麗的手,優美的手,藝術的手”,“這是感恩的手,機智的手,睿智的手”,“這是感悟的手,意境的手,境界的手”,并從這些“手”中獲得了更多的人生哲理,文章結構清晰,情感真切,又不乏理性的思考。

First, the structure is clear and the emotions are true.The "literature" selected by this article is blur and abstract, but the author combines his own experience and feelings to write this invisible "hand"."Hand", "This is a gratitude hand, a witty hand, a wise hand."The structure of the article is clear, emotional, and no shortage of rational thinking.

  二、語言靈動,富有文采。小作者深諳考場作文的得分之道,善用多種修辭手法來亮人眼眸。排比的運用加強了理性思考的氣勢,比喻的運用,如“閃耀金邊的太陽”、“一泓清泉”、“一陣涼風”、“你就像一位長者”等形象生動,增強了文章的感染力。

Second, the language is agile and full of literary talents.The little author knows the scores of the composition of the examination room, and uses a variety of rhetoric methods to brighten people's eyes.The use of row ratio has strengthened the momentum of rational thinking, and the use of metaphors, such as "the sun that shines the sun", "a red spring", "a cool breeze", "you are like an elder" and other vivid images, which enhanced the articleInfectious power.

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